Kelly Clarkson and the "Death with Dignity Act"
By Brian Connolly
Friday, January 20, 2006
Here’s another one for "odd timing." Or, it just might be an indirect request for assistance. Okay, to Bob and Ray’s “Slow Talkers of America,” add three weeks of near constant rain, and what do you get? By a 6-3 decision the Supreme Court on Tuesday upheld Oregon's assisted-suicide law. All things considered, I was just now coincidentally thinking the exact same thing.
Here, allow me to expand a bit on the backdrop. It’s been slow... and “Dank” (that’s the right word). ’06 has started with all things thick, both weather and people. We’re in the “January doldrums” and not a lot is moving. I take that back, there’s movement but no progress, per se. The Existential Gravity hangs at about 8.7 on a scale of 10. The DOW is still at about 10,500. An insurgent killed 6 more Marines. And the topper: Kelly Clarkson Refuses to Let "American Idol" Use Her Songs. We seem to swim parallel to progress to avoid the post tsunami undertow... and “sameness” gets punctuated by sheer insanity.
Alright, from the top...
Bob and Ray (Bob Elliott and Ray Goulding) were a renowned comedy team whose heyday was the 60s and 70s. Known for a variety of recurring characters, such as Arthur Sturdley, Webley Webster, Dean Archer Armstead, Charles the Poet, the duo captured and magnified the tension of the ultra mundane. We laugh at everyday idiots especially those who mirror us. (For those needing another example, think New Yorker cartoon.)
Anyway, in their classic routine “Slow Talkers of America,” a reporter (played by Goulding ) is trying to interview the president of the Slow Talkers of America (Elliot).
Elliot: "I'm…...with... the....Slow...."
Goulding: "Talkers of America."
Elliot: "Talkers....of...."
Goulding: "America! Say it!"
Elliot: ".........America"
Their perfect timing resulted in a palpable tension that verged on painful. Apparently, that timing is now. This is, of course, National Slow...Down...Week (see SlowDownNow.Org). According to the Slow Lifestyle Manifesto, “We believe multitasking is a moral weakness. We would never needlessly indulge ourselves in hurry or rush. If a thing is worth doing it is worth doing slowly or not at all. We value being here and now.”
From 30 floors up, this seems to capture all I survey. Certainly, it has its grips on corporate America today. It defines the modern institution. It is a place where “same” has no greater value. Innovation, by and large, has been shown the door. A friend of mine just took the job to head communications for the Precast Concrete Institute. It’s Precast! What more can you say?!!! He's working at a frenetic pace. He can barely keep up.
Anyway, for anyone born of the ‘50s with ounce of our generation's motivation for uniqueness... these are tough times. I am reminded of an often repeated phrase by my father. He had come home from a business trip to Okalahoma. On commenting on their slow approach to life he said, “If your best friend was in hell and a stranger was in Okalahoma, help the poor bastard out of Okalahoma first.”
Or maybe consider this: Finally, in a break in the monotony, the Supreme Court showed their support for assisted suicide.
Here's how that came about: the Bush administration was trying to block the Oregon law that allows doctors to prescribe drugs to help the terminally ill end their lives.
The Oregon Law: Patients must be in final six months of terminal illness; Patients must make two oral requests and one written request to die, separated by a two-week period; Patients must be mentally competent to make decision; Two doctors must confirm diagnosis; and the lethal prescription of drugs must be prescribed by a doctor and administered by patients themselves.
Since 1997, when Oregon's "Death with Dignity Act" took effect, more than 200 patients have used the law to obtain lethal doses of drugs to end their lives.
But for the Supreme Court the question is purely that of states' rights versus federal power. In 2001 U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft declared that assisted suicide had no "legitimate medical purpose," threatening to punish doctors who participated in writing prescriptions. The Bush administration argument was that Ashcroft's action was supported by the federal "Controlled Substances Act" and that he had the authority to ensure that prescriptions are used for "a legitimate medical purpose."
"No," said the Court. Writing the decision for the majority, Justice Kennedy said that the Attorney General did not have the authority to essentially declare the Oregon law invalid.
Wooop! Wooop! Wooop! Cheers were heard as baby boomers enter their 60s and a spike in the elderly population looms large. Lawmakers in California and Vermont are also presently considering proposals that would allow assisted suicide.
Bottom line: it really depends on how you define "terminal." I'd argue that the doldrums of a rainy January during National Slow...Down...Week, one can't get any more terminal than that. Rather, can't... get... any more.... terminal.... than................ that.
Final Note: Since the writing of this article, Kelly Clarkson has finally agreed to let "American Idol" use hers songs. Apparently, there's a break in the clouds; now there's some hope. Never mind.