Basically, three issues make it particularly silly: timing, context and authority... or rather, lack thereof.

Ruder Finn’s timing couldn’t be worse. Quick question for them: Do you read the paper? It’s certainly been a funky year as to the reputation of the PR and lobbying professions; and the industry’s questionable ethics has been the stuff of major headlines.

To kick off ’05, Ketchum got caught. Reportedly, they had paid off the nationally syndicated television program host, Armstrong Williams, to promote the controversial “No Child Left Behind” legislation of the Bush administration. The quarter-million-dollar contract with Williams was part of a $1 million contract between the U.S. Department of Education and the public relations firm. Ketchum admits a “lapse in judgment.” Oh.

Then came April of ’05, when PR firm Fleishman-Hillard settled it’s multimillion dollar overbilling lawsuit brought against it by the city of Los Angeles for $5.7 million. Oops.

And finally we closed the year with “How Abramoff bought Congress.” As a result, just yesterday, the Washington Post reported that Alexander Strategy Group, “one of Washington's top lobbying operations will shut down at the end of the month because of its ties to the disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff.“ Ouch.

2005 was a tough year. In an op-ed Monday in the industry’s Bulldog Reporter, Howard Rubenstein, long time king of PR in New York summed up the state of the business and advised, “For PR to shift the perception and reality of the craft from that of a marginal trade to a mature profession, it is critical that PR practitioners establish and uphold high ethical standards.” He was being kind. If it were a boxing match, PR would be out on its feet. The referee woulda stopped it. WHERE’S THE REF? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! That’s really the point. There is no ref. And greed has led the business to lapses in judgment, i.e. major ethical abuses. Suffice to say, generally speaking, it’s probably not a good time for Vinnie to get into the home security business.

Anyway, then there is the whole context of what PR actually does for a living. Simple… the objective is to influence an audience in ways less direct than advertising, “influence” being the operative word. And what is “influence”? It’s: to have in one's power; to be obeyed; to command; dominate; tower over; bestride; lead by the nose; have under one's thumb; wind around one's little finger; have the upper hand; put pressure on; pull strings, etc. Influence in a time of transparency, in the era of the Clue Train Manifesto? I don’t think so.

And lastly, as to authority… there’s none. Sure, they gussied up the new release some by dropping a few names. You’ve supposedly got “a board of outside advisors from academia, government and the legal Profession that include: Prakash Sethi, Professor of Management at the Zicklin School of Business/ Baruch, Frank Daly, former corporate ethics officer for Northrop Grumman and Fred Wistow former general counsel for Warner Music Group.” But that’s nothing more than “I’ve got a phone book with doctors names in it; “open, and say, ‘ah’.”

Okay, let’s be honest; let’s underscore the obvious. RF’s real motive for an Ethics Practice is indeed… money. Like all businesses, PR has a healthy affection for all things green. But a subtle industry-wide insecurity always seems to lead to odd distortions. The spinners spin, too. They’ll take basic pitching and placement of news stories and try to brand them up some. Cute names result like: Brandshield™ and i-Wiz. “Ogilvy IMpact makes these dreams a reality with a powerful suite of Internet monitoring, placement and marketing services that help build an effective online presence. Ogilvy IMpact brings the power of the Internet medium to traditional public relations campaigns.”

These firms get so caught up in it they too end up chasing the latest buzz. In December of ’05, Fleishman-Hillard announced that its Gay/Lesbian-Focused Practice was going global. (I hope they don’t practice too much. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

My favorite was when Ogilvy Public Relations Worldwide launched “CounterThreat.” Leveraging the public’s fears around 911, Ogilvy proposed to “help companies focus on the business consequences of various threats, and then develop the redundant infrastructure and flexible procedures needed to keep the lines of communication open with employees, shareholders, customers and the public.” Surely, as the mushroom cloud rises up over the Hudson, one would have their PR guy on speed dial. Frankly, before you meet your maker, it also would be advised to rehearse a few key messages.

Silly. And so are the specific services that Ruder Finn proposes. “The firm will counsel and assist its current and future clients in developing ethics programs that will include risk assessment, the development of communication strategies as well as executive and employee training.” “So… Rabbi… can I steal this car? What do you think my chances are of getting caught? And if I do, can you train me to talk my way out of it?”

Bottom line: the whole idea is ill conceived, ill timed and poorly executed. Everyone knows there’s no money in ethics assessment or training. The real money is in absolution.